1. Sometimes you fool me with your fancy packaging and cleverly worded label and then you turn out to be nothing like I thought you were.
2. I have to pay 400% your value to enjoy you in a restaurant.
3. We have way too much fun when we’re together, yet I always feel like shit the next day.
4. You're never around when I really want you most.
5. You’re so difficult, you even require a special opener (unless of course I’m feeling particularly talented or sufficiently motivated).
6. You absorb my entire entertainment budget.
7. Even when you’re bad, somehow you’re still so good.
8. When you’re gone, I’m always left wanting more of you.
9. You always steal my thunder. I spend days slaving over the menu and cooking the meal, yet all they notice is you. All they talk about is you. All they remember is you.
10. You’re so damn irresistible… I always indulge, even when I know I shouldn’t.
Until we sip again, because you know we will…